It’s all dark days and devil worship from here on


I was truly hoping for some serious head exploding from the right wing nuts over the SCOTUS decision on gay marriage. However, nothing that impressive happened, but we can always hope.

Let’s start with Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana and creationism enthusiast, who periodically erupts with some left field gibberish (and who is also running for president on the side). The Gov sees the decision as an “all-out assault” on Christians and suggested we “just get rid of the court” altogether, ignoring that it’s the third branch of the government and here to stay.

Texas senator Ted Cruz didn’t mince words. “Today is some of the darkest 24 hours in our nation’s history,” he intoned on Sean Hannity’s radio show…and evidently grammar be damned. While he was on a roll, Cruz went on Fox and Friends and defended Donald Trump’s idiotic comments about undocumented immigrants being “rapists” and “criminals.” Cruz said, “I like Donald Trump. I think he’s terrific, I think he’s brash, I think he speaks the truth.” And I think they’re both nuts and deserve each other, but this bromance won’t last. (As you know, because of his racist remarks, NBC dropped The Donald from its line up faster than you can say comb-over.)

According to perpetual Texas tea party windbag, Jouie Gohmert, it’s a dark day when the Supreme Court “blatantly violates the law in order to destroy the foundational building block for society provided by Nature and Nature’s God — that was stated as divine law by Moses and Jesus.” (Where did I get the idea that the 1st amendment was the foundation?) But it gets worse. “…God’s hand of protection will be withdrawn as future actions from external and internal forces will soon make clear. I will do all I can to prevent such harm, but I am gravely fearful that the stage has now been set.” I’m only sorry Jesus and Moses aren’t here to witness the sacrifice Louie is prepared to make to keep us safe from those sinful same-sex couples and internal forces.

But can anybody top Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alito for shark jumping? Scalia went on some out-of-body tirade, stating, “Who ever thought that intimacy and spirituality (whatever that means) were freedoms? And if intimacy is, one would think Freedom of Intimacy is abridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask the nearest hippie.” What?? And with evidently a straight face, Alito wrote in his dissent, “I assume that those who cling to old beliefs will be able to whisper their thoughts in the recesses of their homes, but if they repeat those views in public, they will risk being labeled as bigots and treated as such by governments, employers, and schools.” And what if gays go bat shit and seek revenge? Don’t worry, Alito has already thought of that. “Recalling the harsh treatment of gays and lesbians in the past, some may think that turn-about is fair play,” he writes. “But if that sentiment prevails, the Nation will experience bitter and lasting wounds.” Can’t you just see it? People in opposite-sex marriages forced to huddle and whisper in basements, afraid to be seen on the streets, shunned by society?  Wait a minute, isn’t that what the LGBT community has had to put up with all these years?  Talk about bitter and lasting wounds.

Online sources: Salon, AlterNet, Los Angeles Times, New York Times, Esquire

The week that was


Well, the loonies and fucktards worked overtime last week to bring you just enough craziness to reinforce your belief that the end of the world can’t come any too soon.  Like…

The asswipe in Saudi Arabia who, once he saw the face of his arranged-marriage wife (this is right after the wedding, mind you), promptly booked, saying, “You are not the girl I want to marry. You are not the one I had imagined. I am sorry, but I divorce you.” Yeah, he said that. Once she got over the shock, can you picture the bride’s total relief and unmitigated joy for not having to spend the rest of her life with this worthless turd? A perfect example of the glass-half-full approach. Via The Daily Mail.

From the ever-renewing Arizona branch of insanity:

If you hate gays, transgenders, non-Christians, the liberal media, and other general purveyors of sodomy and sin, then put your hands together for Faithful Word Baptist Church Pastor Steven Anderson of Tempe, Arizona. In a ten-minute sermon to the flock, seems the good pastor descended into paroxysms of hatred and venom over Caitlyn Jenner. For instance:

This person is just the evangelist of sodomy and filth to the world, and people are like, “Oh, we need to pray for him so that he finds Jesus.” I’m going to pray that he dies and goes to Hell. Listen to me, I hate him with a perfect hatred. I have no love for this Bruce freak. I hope he dies today, I hope he dies and goes to Hell. He’s disgusting, he’s filthy, he’s reprobate.

Really makes you want to stop what you’re doing and go to church, doesn’t it? I don’t know much about Jesus, but I can’t believe the guy would sanction the ravings of this unhinged lunatic. From Daily Kos.

Finally, I’ve always thought Canadians are smarter than we are (and thinner, too), so it’s no surprise the Canuck version of Fox News (Sun News Network) blew east with the last Chinook. According to the Daily Kos, the network, launched in 2011, just didn’t attract the hordes of frenzied right-wingers like its southern counterpart. When you’re getting 8,000 viewers out of a possible 5.1 million, even Ann Coulter naked and on fire can’t save your ass.  RIP.

 

Stop me if you’ve heard this one


From Salon.com.

OK, a woman walks into a bar…only the joke is on Tempe, AZ.

Brianna Sandy, a transgender woman, walked into the Tempe Tavern last Sunday to watch the Belmont race and was promptly tossed out after being told, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” Seems the bartender thought she was a prostitute. At least that’s what the bar’s owner said. Yeah, right. Wasn’t because she was transgender or anything, nothing like that. Of course, that’s EXACTLY what the reason was, but rather than risking a lawsuit, we’ll just use the old hooker excuse. Well, Brianna isn’t buying this shit and plans on using anti-discrimination ordinances recently enacted to file a complaint against the bar. Way to go, Brianna.

Sad to say, the attitude of this shit hole and all the others like it in Arizona is the norm, not the exception.

 

Way to go, Louise


According to the World Post, archaeologists have recently unearthed a really well-preserved corpse of a French noblewoman who died back in the 17th century. Evidently, they found her husband’s heart neatly tucked in around her feet. Now I prefer to believe Louise de Quengo got pissed off royal and ripped it out while hubby, Toussaint, was still breathing, then quickly joined the neighborhood convent to avoid prosecution. Of course, we’ll never know, but it would be a great story.

The week that was


OMG, is there any end to the parade of lunatics and asshats in America more than willing to say and do incredibly stupid things?

WELL, AT LEAST HE’S NOT GAY

Why am I not surprised? Josh Duggar, oldest Duggar son and heir-in-training to Jim Bob, got handed his ass this week when In Touch Weekly magazine revealed police reports indicating he had molested five underage girls (including, sadly, some of his sisters) back in his wild teen years in 2002. Oh, did I mention mom and dad waited a year to report it? But instead of getting him into serious counseling pronto, they sent him to some crackpot organization in Little Rock that treats people with “biblical principles.” (Unless this means hitting them over the head with the bible, I doubt if the method works.) Save for being in a coma or living on the space station, you know that the prolifically reproducing Jim Bob and Michelle have been TV darlings the last few years advocating their screwball have-kids-until-you-drop-dead, men-rule-women drool religion on TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting,” backed by seemingly dozens of sickly sweet Duggars all acting deliriously happy and worshipping Jesus. BTW, TLC, the network that has no bottom, has temporarily cancelled the show and advertisers are abandoning ship in droves. Of course, the fanatic Christian right is all over forgiveness for Josh and blaming, in no particular order: the media, the devil, Hilary, Obama, progressives, feminists, and atheists, without a whisper about what the victims went through or any kind of consideration or closure for them. Typical. You watch, this will blow over and get buried and the whole nauseating bunch will be back on the boob tube in some form or another because station execs are not gonna pass up this cash cow no matter how hypocritical the participants are.

IS IT SOMETHING IN THE WATER?

Arizona. The word conjures up visions of unrelenting heat, vast expanses of dirt, wizened seniors baking on the golf course, an education system that ranks at or near the bottom, pathetically thin social services, racists, homophobes, scorpions, and a giant hole in the ground tourist trap that serves as the state’s only attraction. Some recent Arizona milestones:

  • On May 18, according to the Daily Koz, “…the Arizona legislature did what no other state in the nation has been mean-spirited enough to do: they cut lifetime welfare benefits to one year for everyone—adults and children, the physically and mentally disabled.”  Most other states have either a 5-year or a 2-year cutoff. Even Texas limits its own one-year term to adults, with children being exempt.
  • And don’t fuck with Nicole Solomon. Back in 2012, the 31-year-old Mesa, Arizona woman ran over her husband with an SUV because Obama got re-elected. Seems hubby didn’t bother to vote and, dammit, that one vote could have made all the difference. Well, on May 12, Ms. Solomon was finally sentenced to 3 1/2 years in the pen, which will give hubby time to burn all her shit, change his name, and move to another state.
  • Then there’s Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. According to the Los Angeles Times (and without a mention in Arizona’s local media) the sheriff now wants the public to take up a donation to pay his legal bills, which are mounting daily as his department is being sued right and left by immigrant rights groups. Seems his minions flagrantly violated a 2011 court order by stopping anyone who looked even remotely Hispanic for any reason whatsoever. According to the Times, poor old Joe (and I do mean OLD, like 83) said, “I do not have the personal wealth or the wherewithal to keep up with the costly demands of paying for attorneys to defend me.” Well, then don’t do that illegal shit. But wait, it gets better. Last week, Arpaio requested District Judge G. Murray Snow to be taken off the case. Why? Because Arpaio once ordered his former attorney to conduct a secret investigation of Snow’s wife in a thinly disguised attempt at harassment and intimidation. Arpaio will be back in court in June for more of this low-rent desert melodrama but don’t bet on him not getting re-elected as long as there are enough old white men out there in cactusland to keep putting this senile blowhard back in office.

 

The Looney Parade goes on


Redundancy is the least of his problems

First of all, when you decapitate someone, their head is automatically gone. Just ask ISIS. So in a speech at a Vero Beach prayer breakfast last week, when hairy lunatic and certified fucktard, Phil Robertson, was describing a beak-in to an atheist’s home and suggested, “…they take his wife and then decapitate her head off in front of him,” and then goes on about castrating the homeowner and raping his daughters, you know you’re in the presence of a dangerously sick mind. (Don’t forget, this was at a prayer breakfast! I don’t even want to know what he talks about at a prayer dinner.)

Your choice: church or jail

Arizona has always elected the politicians it so richly deserves. Thus, we can only assume State GOP Senator, Sylvia Allen, was simply speaking for the masses when she proposed a “moral rebirth” for America by suggesting a bill requiring, “…every American to attend the church of their choice.” Given the opportunity to back out of this insane idea, she dug in deeper, saying the logic behind the remark came from her experience growing up in the 1950s, when more people went to church. Charlie Manson grew up in the 50’s, too, Sylvia. But wait, there’s more. In 2009, Allen was quoted as saying, “The earth has been here six thousand years, long before we had environmental laws, and somehow it hasn’t been done away with.” Yeah, she said that. As stated: Arizona gets what it deserves.

Of course, we’ll gladly serve Neo-Nazis, KKK folks, and gun-toting ARA members

Then there’s Indiana giving homophobia a shot in the arm by allowing businesses to randomly discriminate against LGBTs, real or imagined, through the state’s new Religious Freedom Restoration Act. But here’s the dilemma: how are they gonna know who’s gay? Evidently they think every gay man dresses like Liberace and every gay woman drives a tank. And what if you accidentally let one in? Could they possibly turn everybody in the place gay just by their presence? Can’t be too careful, so is there some kind of “gaydar” device you could install at the door to weed out potential threats to all we proud Americans hold dear? How about the transgenders? Better make all who enter drop their pants just to make sure. This law could have implications way beyond discriminating against gays. Maybe Indiana get’s the politicians it deserves, too.

Why not just let ’em eat cake?


fast-food-logosYou gotta hand it to Los Angeles for trying. A few years ago, the city decided that a lot of people in the south/central region were fat because they ate too much fast food. Solution: ban all new fast food restaurants in the area. Of course, no one took into account the zillions of existing fast food joints that would continue dishing up pink slime nuggets and mystery-meat burgers as fast as they could make them.

Well, lo and behold, a new study by the Rand Corp. (financed by the National Cancer Institute) indicates that “…from 2007 to 2012, the percentage of people who were overweight or obese increased everywhere in Los Angeles [no surprise there], but the increase was significantly greater in areas covered by the fast-food ordinance, including Baldwin Hills and Leimert Park.” No surprise there, either. In fact, the study found the consumption of fast food went up through South Los Angeles and the entire county during that time.

News flash: Being born in this part of Los Angeles, I can testify that the area is not on anyone’s bucket list to visit, much less to live there. Thus, grocery stores and farmers markets that offer a variety of fresh food are not keen to open up. Dilemma: I just got off work. Do I drive maybe 15 miles or more looking for a store, or cook it up myself with canned stuff I found at the Circle K, or just get fast food and forget it? See the picture?

New York tried banning super-sized sodas and it got shot down in the courts. So why did the L.A. City Council think it would work? Did anyone actually drive around the area covered by the ordinance and check out the 700,000+ demographic to see how and where they live and what’s available to them to determine if this great experiment was even feasible? Didn’t think so.

If the City Council would authorize tax breaks and other incentives to encourage a few of the grocery chains or big-box stores to start opening new locations around the area, I guarantee people would gladly shop there, which would go much further in reducing obesity than taking away their Whoppers.

Dolce Gabbana and their “Children of Chemistry” tirade


OMG, there’s nothing like a couple of aging gay guys gone feral. Italian designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana stepped in it big time last weekend in an interview with the Italian magazine, Panorama. “We oppose gay adoptions,” the pair said. “The only family is the traditional one. No chemical offsprings and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed.” Then they stepped in it deeper: “You are born to a mother and a father – or at least that’s how it should be,” Dolce said. “I call children of chemistry, synthetic children. Rented uterus, semen chosen from a catalog.” Gabbana added, “The family is not a fad. In it there is a supernatural sense of belonging.” Oh, boy. Synthetic children??

Needles to say, this brought on a shitstorm of derision, led by Elton John on Instagram, “How dare you refer to my beautiful children as ‘synthetic’. And shame on you for wagging your judgmental little fingers at IVF – a miracle that has allowed legions of loving people, both straight and gay, to fulfill their dream of having children. Your archaic thinking is out of step with the times, just like your fashions. I shall never wear Dolce and Gabbana ever again. #BoycottDolceGabbana.” Couldn’t have said it better myself, Sir Elton.

It’s a little late in the game for these two twits to start slamming gays, considering they were a couple until 2005. They can believe what they want, but to come in out of the blue and criticize the choices of God knows how many people (gay and straight) in creating their own family is hypocritical at best and at worst, shows off brazen intolerance of anyone who doesn’t agree.

 

This week in Loonieland


Idaho State Representative, Vito Barbieri (R),  is no fool when to comes to anatomy. He was arguing with a doctor the other day who was testifying against a proposed bill that would ban physicians from prescribing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine, when he had a brilliant idea: if you can send a camera probe up someone’s ass to examine the colon, well then why not just send the same thing down a woman’s throat to really get to know her vagina? Sounds reasonable, no? The doctor, probably struggling to keep a straight face, noted that a woman’s stomach and vagina are two separate body parts and are not connected. (Kind of like trying to look at your liver through your ear.) This being Idaho and all, the bill passed anyway.

But wait, there’s more…

Nevada republican (what did you expect?), Assemblywoman, Michele Fiore http://votefiore.com, has a cure for cancer! And with a common household ingredient, yet. Fiore proposed a bill this week that would let people use drugs without the approval of the FDA. To support this wacko idea she said,

“If you have cancer, which I believe is a fungus, and we can put a pic line into your body and we’re flushing with, say, salt water, sodium cardonate [sic] through that line and flushing out the fungus. These are some procedures that are not FDA-approved in America that are very inexpensive, cost.”

 A fungus?? You mean like ringworm? And to think of all that money people spend on chemo when a little Arm & Hammer will kick that cancer to the curb…and fix your heartburn, too. BTW, Michele, it’s sodium bicarbonate.

Again, this proves that being batshit crazy is nolo problemo when it comes to being elected to public office.

 

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